Pumping has been such a big part of my life over the past 9.5 months that I thought this event deserved its own post. As many of you know, trying to breastfeed Livia was not a positive experience. I spent most of the first two weeks of her life trying to feed her, which consisted of having her scream in my face, then having Dan or my mom hold a syringe and tube of breastmilk or formula on my breast (see old posts from late October). This process was even more fun when Livia had jaundice and was attached to the biliblanket machine while trying to breastfeed. Livia was impatient, stubborn, and had a "non-nutritive suck" according to Lactation Consultant #3. After 2 weeks, I decided to exclusively pump and bottle feed her (since I was having to pump after each feed anyway). This was supposed to be a temporary solution until we were both a little more sane and less sleep-deprived to try again. But then we got into the phase where Livia often refused to eat at all, and right when that ended just after 2 months, we went through another glorious phase where Livia refused to eat unless I fed her (she would literally scream and cry for an hour before either accepting a bottle from someone else, or having one or both of them give up). By the time she started eating like a normal person at 4 months, I was already in such a groove of pumping and it no longer seemed like a good time to try again.
My pumps (not a typo--I actually have two) have been on 5 plane trips and 3 road trips. I have pumped in 6 states, 6 houses, 5 hotels, 2 cars, and 1 airport. I have spent about 455 hours (19 full days!) pumping about 50 gallons of breastmilk. The experience has been both one of the most rewarding and one of the most ridiculous things I have ever done. One of the best resources for me was an online message board for people who exclusively pump (there truly are online communities for everything these days). I don't regret anything. I thought about stopping a couple of other times, but I realized that I wasn't quite ready. But lately I have been really tired (especially given our childcare situation) and I was starting to get more resentful of the pump-- I really wanted to stop before I reached the point where I absolutely hated it. Livia has been on about 50% formula since 6 months anyway (when I cut back after getting mastitis and almost deciding to stop) and has been fine with that. I have a little milk in the freezer but after next week we will be saying goodbye to "breastmilk in a bottle" on Livia's list of favorite things.
The funny thing is that I just read that this is World Breastfeeding Week (August 1-7). It seems like an ironic time to stop pumping (I didn't know it when I made the decision) but maybe it is appropriate given our experience with actually breastfeeding. If we have another baby I really hope that he or she is better able to breastfeed, because I don't think any of us could last through another round of exclusively pumping. Nonetheless, I am feeling a little nostalgic about packing away those pumps.
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10 comments:
It's so nice to hear someone refer to pumping as ridiculous! It really kind of is, even though it is 'best for baby' etc. You deserve an award for sticking with it for over 9 months. I felt a little sad when I packed up my pump after six months, but it didn't last long. I don't think my co-workers were sad to hear it go either!
Congratulations!! This is a great post. I particularly appreciate reading it after pumping in the bathroom stall of a County Extension office in Western NC yesterday! I'm super impressed, and the stats you tabulated are really amazing. Livia is off to a great start (for tons of reasons, this just being one)!
Good for you for your dedication! Those were not easy months and yet you stuck with it and I am sure Livia is so thankful :)
I am curious how you came up with those statistics though?!! I would to love how many hours I have spent nursing Alison to date!!! though not really sure how, or if I would want, to figure that one out :)
Jen, it was just an estimate. I pumped about 2 hours/day for the first 6 mo, then about 1 hour/day from 6-9mo (actually a little less because that included prep and clean-up) and a little bit in the past few weeks. I was pumping 27-30 oz/day the first 6 mo, then 10-12 oz from 6-9 mo, then less since then when I was weaning.
OK Sharyn try this one out: If one breast leaves NY on a train going East at 60 Miles per hour, and another breast leaves California heading West at 35 Miles per hour, and both breasts are feeding two different 7 mos old babies (both girls), about how many 6 oz bottles will be used between the time the trains leave and the time they meet up. Assume the 7 mos old girls are identical twins sharing a common name, Livia.
Way to go (says the woman without child and already scared to death about breast feeding)!!
You are a very special person with incredible patience! I will bet that you won't miss the pumping at all pretty soon. Perhaps you can make a recording of the wheee- wheee- wheee- of the pump to help soothe yourself sometimes. ;)
~Chris
Oh my goodness, Sharon! I had no idea that there was online support for exclusive "pumpers." I was an exclusive pumper as Mick latched and worked very hard but was not successful. I gave up trying while he was still in the NICU just to speed up his discharge. When we got home I tried some more but it just didn't work out. My bond with my pump grew from there. Scott and I used to make up words to go along with the sing-song of the machine. These "lyrics" usually involved some choice four letter words! hee hee. Congrats on 9 months! I went 8 months and I can empathize with you for sure. Wish I thought of collecting my stats back then. That's very impressive! Oh, and Dan, you lost me when the second breast left California!
:)
Your story really attests to the lengths we will go to for the love and well-being of our children! It is awesome that you were able to give her breast milk for this long. Congrats on getting ready to be done! It's a little sad and very freeing at the same time...Thanks for sharing your journey!
Sharyn and Dan,
Grandma Mari, with all her infinite wisdom congratulates both of you for sticking with the routine for 9 and 1/2 months knowing it was the best thing for your daughter. Knowing the two of you, this dedication will always be a part of Livia's upbringing.
In the end, it makes a great addition to her blog, which she will some day read for herself, and even more so, given Danny's post, it's really funny.
Grandma loves you both for being such amazing parents, and so does Livia, even if she can't say it yet.
P.S. We need some new pictures!
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